10. REACHING GOD THROUGH RELATIVES

Does the presence of the close relatives give you relief and joy? Have you ever felt that relations are sometimes restrictions or bondages. Do you sincerely love your husband's sister? Or do you consider her as a curse and disturbance? Do you like your husband loving and helping the members of his family? Do you really encourage it or discourage it? Are you prepared to give whatever you receive from your brother and his wife and your sister in law? Don't you wish that your husband should give considerable preferences to your relatives? Can you extend the same preference to his relatives?
Have you realized the importance that Islam gives to the family relations. Do you remember those points when you interact with members of your own family and that you have to follow of the family of your husband? Are you influenced by the old mexim of selfishness that, ‘Had I been alone with my husband and the gold smith.’ Does your ego stand in the way of respecting, approving and loving the nearest relatives? These questions which may be answered by your wife are also applicable to all alike.
Ask these questions to yourself and evaluate the answers in the light of Islamic principles. Such an exercise will throw new light on your life.
The Holy Quran uses the same word to mean both 'womb' and 'family relations'. At the same time it is the word which has been attached to the Holy attributes (ie. qualifying words) of Allah. In the Holy Quran 'Wombs' are called 'Arham'; and 'Darul Arham' is used to mean the people of the womb. Darul Arham is related to Allah's name 'Raheem'. The use of these three terms is not accidental. It took shape when Allah blended them. Allah has ordered:
“And, fear Allah through whom you demand (your mutual rights) and do not cut the relations of the wombs. Surely, Allah is Ever an All-watcher over you.” (4:1)
“But kindred to blood are nearer to one another in decree ordained by Allah ........... Allah is the all knower of everything.” (8: 75)
“Allah enjoins worshipping none but Allah, totally for Allah's sake and in accordance with the sunnah of the prophet and giving help to kith and kin and that Allah ordered you to give them eg. wealth, visiting, looking after them, or any other kind and forbids evil deeds. eg. illegal (sexual acts, disobedience to parents, polytheism, to tell lies, to give false, to kill) and all that is prohibited by Islamic law and all kinds of oppressions.” (16: 90)
“And those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined (ie. They are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of kinship) and fear their Lord, and dread the terrible reckoning (abstain from all kinds of sins) and evil deeds which Allah has forbidden and perform all kinds of good deeds which Allah has ordained.” (13: 21)
“And give the kinsman his due and to the poor and to the way farer.” (17: 26)
“And when the relatives and the orphans and the poor are present at the same time of division give them out of the property and speak to them words of kindness and justice.” (4: 8)
The Holy prophet said as commanded by Allah: ‘I am the most merciful; I created the womb and I gave it one of my names. Therefore I shall establish relation with one who maintains the family relations. I shall sever relations with one who doesn't keep it.’ (Thirmudi)
If you wish that Allah should establish relations with you, you must keep relations with them continuously; be always careful not to cut relation with the family. Even if they keep distance from you, you should keep yourself nearer to them so that you must find pleasure and satisfaction in serving and supporting them.
The Holy Quran proscribes severing relations with the family.
“And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (Hell)." (13: 25)
The extent and consideration that the Holy Quran gives to family relation is very worthnoting.
“There is no restriction on the blind nor any restriction on the lame, nor any restriction on the sick, nor on yourselves if you eat from your houses or the houses of your fathers or the houses of your mothers or the houses of your brothers or the houses of your sisters or the houses of your father's brothers, or the houses of your father's sisters, or the houses of your mother's brothers, or the houses of your mother's sisters where of you hold keys or from the house of a friend. No sin on you eat together or apart. But when you enter the houses greet one another with a greeting from Allah, blessed and good. Thus Allah makes clear the signs to you that you may understand.” (24: 61)
Quranic verses make it clear who are the nearest relatives. They indicate that their houses are like our own house.
Everybody has to remember that his and this partner's approach to the nearest relatives and kith and kin plays a determining role in the success and failure in life in this world and Hereafter. Therefore they must try hard to make the family relations intact and encourage others also to make it peaceful. Quran says, Your partner should not keep himself/herself off or the other partner should not be drawn away from their company. If anything of the sort happens that will be equal to keeping oneself away from Allah.